My Notes

This is a place where I just yap about random topics or write stories that interest meeee. Again I'm not a scientist, don't have a degree, good grammar, or years of dedicated research to any of these subjects so pls don't take it seriously. Lol Thanks!!

The Phone Call

The sharp ringing sound of the telephone disturbed the silence of the night. The woman suddenly sat up; the noise having interrupted her sleep. She stumbled out of the safety of her warm covers, and into the drafty, dark hallways. Steps illuminated by the dim moonlight made their way to the kitchen, as the woman hurried to answer the phone call. She brought the folds of her nightgown closer together as she picked up the telephone.

“Hello?” she answered with a smile, her voice laced with the remnants of her slumber.

As the call went on, the cheerful guise quickly faltered, with the expression of sorrow quickly filling the canvas. Tears spilt from the woman’s eyes as she fell to the ground in anguish. Her husband woke up, with the sounds of the woman’s wails having now drowned the stillness of the house. He quickly ran out of the room in fear to discover his wife crouched on the ground, her body wracked with sobs. All the while the phone sat precariously on the edge of the counter, long forgotten.

The next morning, the girl woke up to the light rousing of her father.

“Wake up, it’s time for breakfast,” he said quietly, before exiting the room.

The girl sat up, groaning in annoyance when met with the glaring light of the sun from the window. She quickly got up to close the blinds as she went to the bathroom to wash up. With a fresh face and new clothes, the girl walked down the hallway to the kitchen. The house was eerily silent, a rare event for the normally boisterous and lively family. The girl quickly hastened to decide on her breakfast. As the girl made her way through the kitchen, the scene outside of the window caught her eye. Her mother was sitting on the patio with her friend, presumably chatting about their own gossip and lives. Excited, the girl made her way to the door to greet the family friend, only to be stopped by her dad.

“Right now… might not be the best time to interrupt them,” he said, leading her away into the living room.

The girl frowned. “Why is she even here?” she asked.

The father paused. He sat down on the sofa opposite his daughter, taking a few minutes to collect himself before going on. “Your mother… well, she received a phone call last night. Your grandmother seems to have passed away a few days ago. She died because of some health complications.”

Oh. The girl shifted in her seat as the words sunk into her. She was sad that her grandmother died, but… the grief that she expected to be consumed by had not come. Perhaps it was because she had already accepted it long before, with her grandmother’s age and pre existing medical conditions. She had already come to terms with her eventual passing.

“And…there’s another thing. Your uncle seems to have passed away as well. He… well he was found as well.”

Oh. Suddenly tears began to form in the girl’s eyes. As they slid down her face, she stared at her father’s face in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Never had she thought the death of her uncle would happen so fast. Suddenly he was gone. She had never even gotten the chance to say goodbye. The patio door suddenly opened. The mother walked in, followed by her friend. Her eyes were stained with despair and the aftermath of a tumultuous night. She sat down on the sofa, eyes set forward but not looking at anything. The girl looked at her mother, empty eyes meeting her own teary ones.

A few days later they receive a full autopsy report. One died of old age, the other of a broken heart.

A Selfish View on Relationships
To be honest I've never really had a relationship except for the 2 month talking stage I had with one guy a few months ago. I ended it pretty abruptly as I felt that long distance relationships never last and our communication skills were feeble. Another thing was his speed and enthusiasm for each step of the relationship irked me as I wanted to take it slow while he was taking it deep. Also, what is it with texting? As someone who dislikes communication via words I wanted to talk to him face to face but was met with a shy turn of the head. In the end it was bound to fail so I decided to end it (accelerated by his father's unusual actions). Anyways now that I'm in college I think I'm confident when I say I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship. My main goal so far is to graduate with a good GPA and degree, and I'm afraid a relationship would only hinder that. This obviously is not true as many of my successful peers are in loving, longterm relationships, however I tend to view my relationships in a negative light. For example, when I started talking to the boy I mentioned, the only thing I could think about was "how long until this is over?" It was as if our interactions were running on a timer I had set before it even started. That was why when it ended I wasn't surprised, disappointed, or frustrated. It anything I felt like it confirmed my previous predictions. Now I'm not saying I'm free from the blame as my communication skills were poor and my inability to say no definitely soured my appreciation for the relationship (ex. not being able to say no to physical touch even though I had previously communicated that I wasn't comfortable with it). Anyways back to the main topic: my selfish view on relationships. Simply to put it, I like the idea of having a relationship but not the responsibilities of it. Basically like when you sign up for a bunch of AP classes to say you're in AP Physics, Calc, etc., but regretting your life choices when you actually enter said classes. I like the idea of being with someone, but the thought of having to constantly communicate, have intimacy, share your deepest thoughts, etc. is absolutely terrifying. Also I have a pretty high list of standards for who I would want to date in the future, but I'm chopped af so there's that too (aka wanting Clark Kent while looking like a failed science experiment). That's why I can confidently saw I won't be dating in college since the school I go to is filled with stunning girls and guys while I stick out like a sore thumb. Not even my academics are helping me stand out in a good manner so its a double homicide :( oh well.
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